Her Sad Return
by tazlvr2001
Summary: Jumping on the Emily return's bandwagon. There are few that deal with the team not accepting her back.  This does just that, but it upsets Emily so much. Can the team find a way to accept her before the depression takes over?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Okay so I'm jumping on the Emily returns story bandwagon. Couldn't help myself. The story idea just wouldn't leave my mind and it affected my writing or "It Was Only One Time" So I'm going to be working on both of then and I hope to be able to get the next chapters for both stories out at a more regular pace.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, all characters belong to CBS. Oh the money I would have if they were mine...**

**Summary: Emily returns from the dead. Will her former team and friends realize that she is in trouble before her depression consumes her.**

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><p>It's been three years since my death. Three years since JJ walked into that waiting room and lied to our friends saying, "She never made it off the table."<p>

I spent the last three years tracking down Ian Doyle before I was finally successful. I stood in front of him, aimed my gun and fired the shot that ended his threat over me. I'm free and able to return back home to my family. Now, the only question remaining was, did I have a family to return to?

JJ kept me informed in how they were all doing. I know how Garcia stops each morning at my picture that hangs in the BAU hallway. I know how Reid is now distancing himself from any connection he had with the team, hoping to never grow close to them and lose them again like he had with Gideon and me. I know how Morgan almost demolished one of his houses with his bare hands, relieving the anguish he felt for not being able to get to me in time to save me. I know about the pain I caused Rossi, as he had to deal with losing the one person he thought of as his daughter. I know the pain and disappointment Hotch feels from me keeping my initial involvement with Doyle a secret from them all. The hardest for me though is knowing the guilt that JJ continues to feel about keeping the secret of my being alive from the team.

JJ is the only one who is aware of my arrival. She hadn't even told Will or Henry that I was alive. So here I am now, sitting in my car in JJ's driveway. She arranged this barbecue with the team so that I could reunite with them. I, _the brave and strong Emily Prentiss_ am scared senseless to enter that backyard. I feel myself tense up a little as my phone vibrates with JJ's text message.

**Everyone is here. Where are you?**

I take a deep breath as I send back the reply: **In your driveway. I'm scared that they won't understand. **I feel my eyes water as I let myself believe that admission.

**I won't lie Em. It will be hard for them, but you need to just rip that band-aid off and show yourself instead of letting yourself worry about their reactions. **

**Okay. **

And with that said, I step out of my car and start to walk toward the gate to the backyard. I smile a little as I can hear the laughter coming from Jack and Henry. I can here Morgan teasing Reid about something and it almost feels like I never left. I walk through that gate and let a sad smile appear on my face at the site of my friends, my family.

Henry was the first person to notice me. "Aunt Emmy!" He called as he ran towards me. I could hear the gasps from the group gathered there, but I paid no attention to them as I crouched down as pulled Henry into my arms.

"You're alive?" was the next statement that I heard before I felt Jack's arms wrap around me.

I shifted Henry around so that I could place one arm around each of the boys and I allowed myself to let out a deep sigh before I pulled out of the hug. I wiped the tears from my eyes as I placed each hand on their cheek and whispered to both of them, "I've missed you so much. I am so sorry. Aunt Emmy had to go and catch a really bad guy and I had to pretend that I was dead so that the bad man wouldn't come after you two and everyone else."

"Are you going away again?" asked Henry.

I looked up at JJ. I couldn't look at the rest of them. I didn't want to see the pain that I know would be in their eyes. My eyes traveled back to Henry and I smiled at him and shook my head. "No, Baby. I'm staying this time. I'm not going anywhere. Why don't you both go back to playing while I go and say hello to everyone."

"'Kay. Come on Henry, let's go play soccer."

I smile and watch them run and play soccer before I stand from my crouching position and I walk over to where JJ was standing with a reassuring smile on her face. "Hey," she says to me as she envelopes me in a comforting hug.

"Hi," I answer back and pull myself from her embrace, but JJ kept her hand on my shoulder grounding me with her touch. I force myself to look towards the rest of them. The hurt is so visible in their eyes. "Hey guys."

There are a few moments of silence as they all look at me. I guess they were still trying to make sure that what they were seeing was real. "You're alive," Reid said to me. I can hear the confusion in his voice. I nod my head, but don't say anything to him.

"Three years," said Morgan. "We grieved for you for three years and you've been alive all of this time. And you knew all about this?" He directed that last question to JJ. I knew it. I knew that they wouldn't be able to understand.

I watched as JJ nodded and answered him. "I did."

"And you didn't think that this was something we deserved to know?" I cringed when Morgan raised his voice at JJ. She didn't deserve to be yelled at like that. This was all my fault.

JJ gave a reassuring squeeze to my shoulder as she kept the contact and responded to Morgan. "Of course I thought about that. I thought about it every single day, but I couldn't do anything about it. My hands were tied Morgan. The less people that knew the truth, the safer everyone was."

"We could protect ourselves."

I couldn't hold myself back any longer. Anger took over and I responded to him. "This had nothing to do with your ability to protect yourselves, Morgan. Doyle was not just some Unsub that would go after you or the team. When he fixed his sights on his target, he would slowly torture them by taking everything away from that person. He would break them down mentally before moving in for the kill and ending their life in the worst physical torture you could imagine, worst then a brand on the breast and a stake in the stomach." I could feel the tears building up. Whether they were from sadness or anger, I really couldn't say. "I was his target. You saw those photos when he killed those families. Do you think he would have spared Jack and Henry? No, they would have been the first to go, because the loss of a child tortures so many. Next would have been your families – your mother and sisters, Reid's mother, Will and Kevin." I point towards Will and Kevin when I say their names. "And then, one by one all of you would die. And if by some chance I was selfish enough to sit by and let this all happen, which you now know I was not, I would be next and last, and his revenge would be complete. So don't you sit there and yell at JJ or me and complain that for three years you thought that I was dead and you grieved for me, because I promise you that you wouldn't have lived past the first year. You all had each other. I was alone. I had to fight each and every single day not to call any of you to tell you that I was alive. I cried each time I talked to JJ and I heard how much pain you were all in. All because of **my** past. I caused it all, so don't you dare blame JJ for any of this."

"Special allowances were made for me to become Emily's handler with the Department of Defense. Emily tracked down Declan and hunted Doyle while trying to stay off of his radar. Doyle was killed last week, fatal shot right between the eyes."

"And Declan?" asked Garcia.

"He is happy and safe with the family I arranged to take him in when I left Doyle 15 years ago," I answered with a small smile on my face. "Thankfully, Doyle never found out where he was and he was safe the entire time.

I could feel the hold on my tears slipping as I remembered those three long years alone. "I don't expect you to just welcome me back without as if nothing happens. I am sorry for all of the pain that I caused each of you. I have a meeting with Strauss on Wednesday. We will be discussing my future with the FBI. I will have to go through a psych eval. on Monday and a physical on Tuesday, before she decides which positions she will be offering me, if she offers me any at all. I would hope for the chance to return to the BAU, but that will all decide on you. At my request, Strauss has placed the team on stand down for three days, during which she is going to meet with each of you and ask you about whether you think you can work with me again. I beg of you to be honest with her. She will tell me on Wednesday if I have a future with the BAU or not."

"Why wasn't I informed of this?" asked Hotch. He clearly was upset that I knew more of this situation than he did.

"I begged Strauss to give me 24 hours to give you the heads up before she contacted you herself. I am sure that you will have an e-mail by this evening with the notice."

"So you thought coming here and revealing yourself would help us to decide that you should be back?" asked Reid with an attitude that reminded me of the tine when he was dealing with his addiction to dilaudid.

"Of course not Reid. I didn't want you to find out through an e-mail or when you first saw me walk through the halls of the building." I looked towards Garcia, "Or for you to worry when my picture was missing from the Wall of Remembrance. I don't expect for you to tell Strauss anything but the truth. If it is one important lesson I learned from my five years working with all of you, it was that the team relies on the trust they have in each other." Tears no freely dripped from my eyes. I wiped them and then turned to JJ. "I guess I was right," I told her. With a small, sad smile, the emotion pours through my words as I continue, "Seems that I haven't lost any of my profiling abilities. I will give you a call in a few days."

"Don't go, Em," JJ pleads.

I take a step away from her and shake my head. "I should go. I know what the answer will be once I meet with Strauss and if I stay here any longer, it will just be uncomfortable for everyone. I ruined the day as it is. I'm sorry."

And without another word, I left the backyard. I drove two blocks before I had to pull over when my vision was blurred from tears.

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><p><strong>Please let me know what you think.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone who alerted and reviewed this story. This chapter is mostly about the team's interview with Strauss. Each team member is interviewed at separate times, but to alleviate redundancy in the questions I have grouped their answers together. Hope that there is no confusion. IMPORTANT: for the purpose of this story, Hotch was not made aware of Emily faking her death and Seaver never existed on the team.**

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><p><strong>Emily's POV<strong>

Monday morning arrives, and I can't seem to decide if it arrived too quickly, or not quickly enough. The next three days will decide my future. I have no doubt that I will be able to pass the physical and psychological evaluations. It was what my teammates, my former teammates, will say to Strauss that worries me. Last night, JJ offered to drive me to the BAU, but I declined stating that I would be leaving as soon as my physical exam was completed. Once again she assured me that it would all be alright before we hung up, but I couldn't let myself believe her. I just keep running through my mind the hurt looks I saw on their faces when I stopped by the barbecue at JJ's house. I am sure that if she was honest with herself, JJ would also admit that she didn't think it would work out, but she did her best to play the supportive friend that I needed.

As I pull into a spot in the parking lot, I see JJ waiting by her car, presumably for me. I know she could tell how nervous I am. "It's going to be fine, Em," she tells me as she gives me a comforting hug.

I shake my head at her and answer, "You don't know that."

She tries to hide it, but I can see in JJ's eyes that she agrees with me. I don't know what I will do if I cannot come back to this team. Taking a deep breath, I walk with JJ into the building. The team will be getting some happy news this morning. It seems that Strauss pulled some strings and has managed to get JJ back to the BAU. Maybe this will put the team in a good mood for when they have to talk with Strauss about my future. Somehow, I don't think that's the case.

Ememe

Movement in the BAU all but stopped as I entered the room after my physical exam. A bureau wide e-mail was sent that morning regarding the death of Ian Doyle and the news of my "return from the dead" status. I look around the room and let a small smile appear on my face before I notice the blank stares that I receive in return from my friends. I can feel my insides tighten as I realize that I can't tell from their expressions where their decision lies.

Pushing down my panic, I walk up to Hotch's office and knock on the door. "Come in," he answers. Slowly I open the door and step into the room. I close the door and walk over to stand in front of his desk. "Have a seat, Prentiss," he tells me and I immediately comply with his request.

I clear my throat as quietly as possible before I pass over the paper that was in my hand. "I was told to hand this to you. I have passed my physical exam. Tomorrow I have the psychological evaluation," I remind him.

"You could have waited to bring this in to me," he told me, with the cold Hotchner glare gazing at me.

"I was just following orders, Sir," I reply back. "If you'd rather than I will hold off on bringing you the results of my evaluation tomorrow until after I meet with Strauss on Wednesday."

"That would be best," he said to me. "You may go."

"Yes, Sir," I reply back as I leave the room and turn to go down the hallway to JJ's office. I can feel the tears start to pool in my eyes and know that I will not be able to make it to my car before breaking down.

I reach her door and could hear Garcia inside. "Don't get me wrong, Jayje. I am so glad that you are back on this team, but I don't know her anymore. I can't just welcome her back here with open arms. I am furious with what happened."

That was all that I needed to hear. I couldn't stay there any longer. As quickly as my feet would move, I ran down the stairwell next to JJ's office and cried in my car. Tomorrow, I will not make the same mistake. I am just going to go into the building for my psych evaluation and then I will head straight to my car. I can already predict how what will happen. If I return to the FBI, it won't be with my former team.

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><p><strong>Third Person POV<strong>

When Hotch arrived into work on Monday morning, an e-mail was already waiting for him in his inbox. It was from Strauss and she notified him of the appointed times for each of his team members and himself to meet with her regarding Prentiss' return. He was also informed that JJ will be returning to the team, and he couldn't be happier to have her back.

Strauss looks over the schedule of appointments she had with the BAU over the next two days. Today she will meet with Agents Reid, Garcia and Jareau. Tomorrow will be the remaining members of the team, Agents Morgan, Rossi and Hotchner. She only had a few questions to ask them and would make her decision based on their answers, the evaluations and her meeting with Agent Prentiss.

When she heard the knock, Strauss looked up towards her door, "Come in and please have a seat," she said as she pulled out her paperwork to begin the interview.

**Strauss:** Before we begin, let me assure you that whatever is said here will be kept in strict confidence between you and me. Not even Agent Prentiss will be informed of the answers that I receive. It is up to you to tell others about the answers I give. The only thing that I ask is that you do not tell the other members of your team what I will be asking in order for me to get their honest answers and not a rehearsed reply. Getting that out of the way…How do you feel about the news of Agent Prentiss being alive?

**Reid: **To be honest, I still am not sure how I feel about it. She just left and we all believed that she was dead.

**Garcia: **I am glad that she is alive, but I am so angry with her for running away like that.

**Jareau: **Obviously, Ma'am I was aware the whole time that Agent Prentiss had always been alive so I wasn't as affected by the news as the rest of the team.

**Morgan: **To be blunt, Ma'am I am pissed off. I asked her so many times what was going on, but she never trusted us enough to let us in and to try and help her.

**Rossi: **I couldn't be happier that Emily is alive.

**Hotchner: **I am happy for Agent Prentiss and for her family that she is alive.

**Strauss:** Not considering you personal feelings toward her, in your opinion, would the BAU benefit with the return of Agent Prentiss?

**Reid: **Yes.

**Garcia: **Yes.

**Jareau: **Absolutely

**Morgan: **My professional opinion? She is good at her job, so yes.

**Rossi:** Of course.

**Hotchner: **Agent Prentiss is a skilled profiler and would be an asset and treated as such.

**Strauss:** If Agent Prentiss returns to the team, do you think that decision would be the best option for the team? Would you be able to work with her?

**Reid: **I believe it would be very difficult for Agent Prentiss to regain the trust that was lost. Working in the field requires so much trust amongst the team. I don't know if it would be possible.

**Garcia: **It wouldn't affect me as much as it would the others. In the end, I can be professional Ma'am and will work with Agent Prentiss if that is the decision that is made.

**Jareau:** Of course that is the best decision. I'm sure that trust will need to be re-obtained, but Agent Prentiss needed to gain their trust when she first joined the team. It might take longer than the last time, but I believe that level of trust will be reached in the end.

**Morgan: **No, I don't. We need to trust each other on this team. She couldn't trust us and right now I can't say that I can trust her.

**Rossi: **Of course I would be able to work with Agent Prentiss. As for her return being the best option for this team, I can't say. They were deeply affected by what happened between Emily and Doyle.

**Hotchner: **I am confident Ma'am that whatever decision that is made would be in the best option of the team. I am fully capable of working professionally with Agent Prentiss.

**Strauss: **Thank you for your time. I will take Agent Prentiss' test results and the interviews all into consideration to make my decision. I will meet with you and the other members of the team at 1pm on Wednesday afternoon.

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><p><strong>thanks for reading! next chapter will be Emily's meeting with Strauss and Strauss' decision.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the delay. Life seems to always get in he way of my writing. **

**Her is the long awaited decision from Strauss**

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><p><strong>Emily POV<strong>

I look at myself in the hallway mirror, one last check of myself before I leave the house. Today is the day. Today I find out if I will be able to go back to my job at the BAU. I have prepared fully for both options. Well, as fully as I could. When they were away on the first case after I "died" JJ collected everything from my desk that as mine and put it all in storage with the rest of my things from my apartment. That box was now sits at my front door ready for me to take it to my car. If I rejoin the BAU, I'll go down and get it before I step back into that bullpen.

I'm also ready if I don't get to go back. I have a job waiting for me in the State Department for whenever I am ready. All I just have to do is take their exam and I'm in. The results of the exam won't really matter. It is just a procedure that has to be followed. I think I'll wait a month to start that job. Take the opportunity to just relax and enjoy being able to live my life again as Emily Prentiss

As I leave my place and get into my car, I start to prepare myself mentally for this conversation and interview that I will be having with Strauss. Will she give me another ultimatum like before: _'I'll put you on the team if you really soy for me this time.' _Yeah, like that will work. If they don't want me back and she puts me back in, they will never learn to trust me again.

What if they don't want me back? By protecting each of them and their families from being harmed, did I really lose my friends? Wait, they are more than friends…they are family. At least the closest to a family I ever had. Yes, since I have been back my relationship with my parents is the best it has ever been, but it took me 'dying' and coming back from the dead for that to happen. The BAU has been the one place I ever truly felt welcome. I don't want to lose them. I don't think I could survive without them.

As if it was fate, the spot that I normally park in at the BAU is open and I pull into it. Is it really fate? Some sign that everything will be okay and that I'll be able to return to my car to retrieve the box? Or is it just some cruel coincidence? I look at my watch. I have ten minutes before my meeting with Strauss. Taking a deep breath, I shut the engine off and exit my car. I slip on my compartmentalizing mask and keep hidden from my face all of my nervousness and doubt. As I exit the elevator and walk through the doors and into Strauss' office I take a deep breath and prepare to hear how the rest of my life will play out.

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><p>"It's good to see you. Please have a seat." Strauss points to the chairs placed in front of her desk.<p>

She hands me some paperwork and I look down at the heading on the first page. It's the bureau's change of personal information form. I glance at it quickly and see that the name is Ericka Palladino. "Ma'am?" I send her the question with so much meaning behind it as I am trying to figure out what this form could be about.

"Three years ago, when it became necessary to fake your death, a similar form was placed in your file. Emily Prentiss was listed as an agent lost in the line of duty, but Ericka Palladino became a new agent. Her history was similar to yours and she was placed on indefinite paid disability while she recovered from an injury caused by a stab wound. Her salary was deposited directly to an interest bearing account." I look at some of the other pages and see copies of paycheck and bank statements. "All that is required is for you to sing those documents and all of the funds that were paid to Ericka Palladino will go to its rightful owner."

"I don't know what to say," I say to her as I continue to look through all of this paperwork. I can't believe what has been done for me. This not something that the bureau normally does. They don't just go and set up fake identities and bank accounts for every agent that goes off the grid like I did.

"The choices you made, saved the lives of six FBI Agents, a member of the Department of Defense and their families and who knows how many more people. It is the least this government could do for you. I've received the results of your physical and psychological exams, both of which have left me with no doubt that you are ready to return to the FBI as an active agent." The profiler in me catches that she hasn't said if I can return and if that offer extends to the BAU. I am about to ask her to clarify the statement she made, but she continues, "You know that I spoke with all of the members of the BAU about your return." I nod my head to tell her that I did know. For some reason my throat has gone dry and I can't seem to be able to talk. "If you do return to the BAU, do you expect them to just accept you back with open arms?"

I give her a look as I prepare my answer. I can tell that her question is a sincere one and not at all mocking me. Taking a deep breath I answer, "Absolutely not. I know that I will have a difficult time regaining their trust. It took a while for them to trust me when I first joined the team, and I am sure that it will be harder to do it this time."

"If you couldn't be a part of the BAU, would you stay in the FBI?"

I shake my head, "To be in the BAU is the reason is the reason I joined the FBI. I have an open invitation to work in the State Department. If I cannot be part of the BAU, I will take that offer."

"I understand." Internally, my stomach tightens. I can see where this is going. She's going to tell me to take that offer with the State Department. "I am going to put you back into the BAU on a trial basis."

"What?" I ask her, clearly confused.

"You are a good agent, Emily and a very skilled profiler. It would be a great loss to us for you to leave. Like I said it would be on a trial basis. Three months. We will re-evaluate it then and determine whether or not it will be temporary. If at any time during those three months, I hear from Agent Hotchner that it is not working out, the trial will be cut short."

"Thank you," I say with a grateful smile and a nod.

"Two of the questions I asked your team members were if they thought you were an asset to the BAU professionally and if they were personally able to work with you. The first question was answered in your favor unanimously. They all feel that you are very effective as a profiler. The second however received mixed reviews. There are some concerns of trust with - "

Strauss was cut off by the intercom on her phone, _"Agent Hotchner is here, Ma'am."_

"Perfect timing. Send him in." I look at her with wide eyes at this surprise, but quickly recover as I hear the door open to the office. "Agent Hotchner, thank you for coming. Please have a seat."

She gestures to the seat next to me and I start to feel nervous as he moves to the chair. "Agent Prentiss," he greets me. "How are you doing?"

"Fine, Sir," I answer him. I haven't felt this much of a cold vibe from him since the first day I joined the BAU.

"I'll get right down to it," Strauss began, breaking the uncomfortable silence in the room. "I have decided to reinstate Agent Prentiss to the BAU on a three month trial period. A re-evaluating interview will take place at the end of this period a final decision will be made. If at any time during those three months, you have any concerns about Agent Prentiss' position with the team, I expect you to bring it to my attention and we will do what is necessary to correct the matter. Agent Prentiss has already accepted these terms, and I hope that it is doable for you."

I hold my breath as I prepare to here Hotch's answer. Finally he says, "As I told you before, Ma'am, I trust your judgment and will follow along with whatever you decide."

'_Crap,'_ I screamed in my head. He doesn't want me back. Maybe I should just tell Strauss to never mind and that I will just resign from the bureau. It will probably be better for them anyway to not have to deal with me being around.

"There is, however, one last requirement that I have and this is, as they say, the deal breaker." I look up at Strauss with some confusion, and from the corner of my eye, I can see a similar look appear on Hotch's face. "Your team deals with the apprehension of some of the most dangerous criminals in existence. It is important that when you leave for raids and any other dangerous situations, that there be total trust amongst your unit. It is clear from the interviews that I conducted, that that trust is not present with some of your agents and Agent Prentiss. Because of this, I am mandating that Agent Prentiss to not accompany your team on any planned raids to apprehend your Unsubs." She looks towards me, "You are to remain at the station at all times. If you are out in the field during an interview and you have to leave from there to another location to meet your team where the Unsub is, you are to not to join in on the raid. You will remain outside until you are made aware that the situation is controlled. Is that something you can agree to, Agent Prentiss?"

"Yes, Ma'am," I answer her.

"Agent Hotchner?"

I see him nod his head as he answers, "Of course."

"Alright. I hope that this decision will be a successful one for the both of you and your team. My door is always open if you have any concerns." We both nod as we stand from our chairs and leave her office.

As we wait for the elevator to arrive, Hotch makes a phone call, _"JJ, can you call everyone to the conference room? I'll be there in five minutes."_ I can hear JJ's voice come through his phone asking him if it is about me and he answers that it is and that he wants to tell everyone together. When he ends the call, he finally speaks to me, "I think that it is best that you are not in the conference room when I tell them. I don't doubt that there will be some angry words said."

I nod my head, "That is fine. I have some things down in my car that I would like to bring in for my desk…Would I be sitting in my old desk? Or is that being used?"

He shakes his head. "No one has used it since you left to go after Doyle." I once again nod my head and we both enter the elevator when it arrives, he pushes the button for the BAU floor, and I push the one for the main level.

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><p>Ten minutes later I enter that BAU and even though, I know that they are all gathered in the conference room, I can feel the tension in the air. I keep asking myself if this was the right decision to make and if I truly believe that things will get better. The answer to both questions is the same – I don't know.<p>

I push myself to walk the last few steps and enter the conference room. I look around at each of them and see some who are returning my gaze, and some that can't even look at me. There are some with looks of anger, hurt, confusion and happiness on their faces. JJ sends me a warm, congratulating smile and I can see from the folder in her hands that she has a case ready to present to us. Morgan, who used to sit next to me, is now sitting as far away as he can from the only empty seat available.

Before I sit in that seat, I say to all of them, "I know that my being back is not what some of you hoped for. If I was being honest, I didn't expect Strauss to approve of my return. I am sure that Hotch has told you the terms of my reinstatement. I will go even further and enforce some terms of my own upon myself. I'm not expecting to automatically be included into anything. I will not join you for the team dinners or nights out, unless you want me to be there, and it has to be unanimous. If a case requires Garcia to travel with us, I do not expect the three of us to share a hotel room like we used to. I have no problem being in the room by myself, it's not like we see those hotel room that much anyway. I really do hope that I can gain your trust and friendship back. Whether you want to hear it or not, the only thing that kept me going, was the thought that when everything was over with Doyle, I would be able to come back home to my family."

I sat down in the chair and turned my attention to JJ, hoping that it will all turn out alright.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it, please let me know what you think.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all of the Alerts and reviews! Her we go with another chapter.**

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><p><strong>Emily's POV<strong>

It's been three weeks. Three weeks since I've rejoined the FBI and the BAU. Three weeks of hell. Three weeks where the only to talk to me for any reason besides a case is JJ. Three weeks where the team has gone out for dinners and to the bars and, like I promised, I stayed shut in my hotel room or my home.

I never thought they would last this long. I expected them either to run to Strauss after the first week and tell her that it wouldn't work with me on the team or to open up some form of communication that wasn't case related. I know I told them that I would wait for when they are ready to welcome me back into their lives…but…I'm not sure I can wait for that time to come. Or if it will even come at all.

So I've made the decision for them. Today before I enter the BAU bullpen, I am going to meet with Strauss and inform her that this isn't working out. I trust that she will honor what she promised and that I will not be forced to work the rest of the three month trial that I am on. I sit here now in Strauss' office waiting for her to finish a conference call.

She ends her call and looks at me with apologetic eyes, "I apologize for taking that call, but it was important and could not be avoided."

"I understand, Ma'am," I answer her.

"What can I help you with?"

"When I came back, you said that if things weren't working out, I could come to you."

She looks at me with a sad smile, "That is right. So I gather things haven't been going well."

I shake my head, "No Ma'am." I take a deep breath before I continue. "We've had two cases in these three weeks. My input on these cases was over looked for most of the first case. It took Agent Jareau to repeat what I had said for the rest of them to even consider the ideas. And this last case, the LEO's even picked up on the tension and had asked me why most of the team seemed to not be pleased with me being there. I can't continue with this Ma'am, and I thank you for the chance to return to the bureau and the BAU." I hand her an envelope. "My resignation from the FBI," I explain to her. "I hope that you understand that it is effective immediately. I can't be the cause of friction in this team any longer. If it is okay with you, I'd like to be the one that informs the team." I look down at my watch. "It is just about time for the morning briefing. I will inform them and then clean out my desk. I will be out of the building no later than noon."

Strauss placed the envelope that I handed her on the desk and looked at it for a few seconds before turning her eyesight to me. "I can express how upset I am that things didn't work out. I was sure that things would work out in the end, but if you are sure that it will never get better."

"I am."

"I wish you luck in the State Department. I assume that you will be taking that position that was offered to you."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Their gain is our loss. There is no rush to leave today. Take as much time as you need, and if you choose to come back to the bureau, the door is always open for you." She held out her hand to me.

I stood up from my seat and joined my hand with hers, shaking it as I answered, "I appreciate that, Ma'am and for the opportunity you gave me to come back to the BAU."

"Good luck with all that you do."

I gave her a small nod before I left the room. That was the easy part. Now I just had to go and face them all and give them the chance to gloat that they were able to break me. I'm sure that they will all be pleased with the way things have all turned out. They won't have to work with the disappointment that they see me as.

I enter the bullpen and notice that the team is nowhere to be seen, so I head to the conference room. As I get closer to the room, I can hear Morgan speaking. I freeze in my spot as I hear him talking. "It's not working Hotch. You expect us to go through nine more weeks with her? She'll never be accepted back. We should just go and tell Strauss that it's not working out. Where is she anyway? It's after ten. She knows that we meet every morning at ten. She should be here."

Those words jolt me back to the present and I complete the journey to the room. "Sorry I am late," I say as I stand by the empty chair at the table but don't sit in it.

"It's fine, Prentiss. Have a seat and JJ will be able to start the briefing," said Hotch.

"Oh yes, now that you've finally graced us with your presence, we can begin this ten am meeting at," he looked at his watch, "at ten fifteen."

"Morgan," JJ gave him a warning glare.

"It's fine, Jayje," I assure her. I take a deep breath and look around the room. "I'm not staying for the meeting. I am late because I was in a meeting with Strauss. I handed in my resignation from the FBI effective immediately. As you so blatantly said it, Morgan, I will never be accepted back, so, there really is no reason for me to stay here and make us all miserable. It is affecting the results of this team, and the work of the BAU is too important for that to happen." I look towards Hotch. "I've placed my gun and badge on your desk. I will go now and clean out my desk and should be gone within the hour."

I turn and leave the room quickly. I can hear someone following me. The heels of her shoes give JJ away, but I can't have this conversation in the eyesight of everyone else. I can't let them see me break down. I move to the bathroom and enter, JJ following me the whole way. I turned around and it wasn't until I was sure that we were the only two in the bathroom and JJ turned the lock on the door that I let the tears flow from my eyes.

"Oh Em," she says to me as she moves towards me and pulls me into a comforting embrace. "It will all be okay. They will realize their mistake."

I shake my head, "No JJ, they won't. I realized that it will never happen. Staying here will only put off the inevitable. I need to be in a job where I am respected and appreciated, and I don't feel either of them anymore here. Your support has gotten me through these three weeks and I am so grateful for that. I wiped the tears from my eyes and washed my face. "I should get going. I asked Strauss to give me till noon to be out of the building."

"Will you come by for dinner tonight?" she asked me.

"I'm sorry. I promised my mother that I would join her for dinner," I answer her. I can tell from the look in her eyes that she knows it's a lie. She doesn't push though. A small nod from her followed by the offer to join them for dinner tomorrow if she is not on a case follows, and following that she hugs me tightly before I walk past her to unlock the door and exit the bathroom.

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><p><strong>Ugh so sad for Emily, I know! Please let me know what you think. I promise this will be updated really soon, might possibly be by the end of the day.<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for all of the reviews and alerts. I tried to get this out sooner, but it just wasn't possible. Short chapter for now.**

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><p>JJ storms into the conference room after she accompanied Emily to the elevators. "I hope that you are all happy with what you've done. There are no cases that need our attention. You'll all have files within the hour. Other than that, it would be best for you to all stay out of my office for the rest of the day."<p>

JJ leaves the room and several minutes later they hear an office door slam. "What's her problem?" asked Morgan.

"What have we done for her to be that mad?" Garcia asked, her face still showing a shocked look.

"You really don't get it?" said Rossi. "She's been back for three weeks and none of us made the effort to be welcoming to Emily. None of us tried to include her in anything we've done."

"She told us that she didn't want to spend time with us," argued Morgan. Spencer mumbled something and Morgan looked at him, "What was that?"

Reid looked up at him. "She told us that she wasn't going to force herself on us and that she would only spend time with us if we asked her to."

"We are all guilty of that," said Hotch.

"But none of us care to have her around. She made her choice when she couldn't trust us enough to help her when Doyle came around and she lied to us about faking her death," Morgan replied.

"I agree that there are some trust issues between all of us where Emily is concerned," said Rossi. "I am upset with myself for not making her feel welcomed. I understand why she did what she did three years ago, and then she goes and does it again without any of you realizing it."

"What do you mean?" asked Garcia.

"She could have stayed here. Maybe things would have worked out, maybe not, but she didn't stay."

"She ran away. Again," said Morgan.

"She didn't run away," Rossi insisted. "I overheard one of the LEOs asking Emily why he sensed so much tension with our team. If a LEO picked up on it, anyone could. She was trying to keep any issues this team was having within the team. None of us, myself included, have spoken with her beyond anything case related. I am ashamed to say it took her walking out of here for me to realize it. When I spoke with Strauss, I was pretty honest with her. I told her that I would accept Emily both personally and professionally. I let myself get caught up in the emotions flowing off all of you and held back from being a friend to her when she needed it." Rossi stood from his chair and walked back to his office.

"Who does he think he is?" asked Morgan. "He expects us to look passed what she did?"

"No, he expects us to try and understand her side," said Hotch as he stood from his chair and left the room. Soon after they all left the room and walked back to their desks.

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><p><strong>Emily's POV<strong>

"_Em, it's JJ. Just calling to see how you are doing. I'll give you a call tomorrow with a time to come over for dinner."_

"_Emily, it's Rossi. JJ said that you were having dinner with your mother tonight. Call me when you get home. Don't worry about the time."_

Once I got home, I unplugged my house phone and I turned off my cell phone. I do not want to hear from anyone. I am so upset that things didn't work out at the BAU. I knew that it would be tough. I just thought that it wouldn't be this tough. I figured that it was going to be like I was just joining the BAU again. I knew that I had to regain their trust, but I didn't expect them to be so stubborn about this.

I don't know what I am going to do now. I really didn't believe that I would have to take that job with the State Department. HOW NAÏVE AM I? I'll give them a call tomorrow. For now, I just want to go upstairs and lie down.

"_Emily, it's Dave again. I've been calling you every day for the last week. Please give me a call back. I…I want to apologize for how much of a fool I've been. Please call me."_

"_Em, it's JJ. Is everything okay? I've been calling you at least twice a day now for the last week. Rossi even came to me and told me that he's been trying to get to you as well. I even called your mother and she said that you never showed for dinner last week. Please call me back."_

Every day I listen to their messages and cry until I fall asleep from the exhaustion. I wish they would stop calling me. Don't they know that their calls only remind me of what has been taken away from me? They call me, and I think of the BAU. Then I get upset and start to cry. It's a vicious cycle. I wish they would leave me alone! I just want to stay in bed and sleep. Maybe I'll eat something soon. I think the last time I ate was a couple of days ago. I'm not too sure. Tomorrow I'll call the State Department and accept the job.

"_It's JJ. I am so worried about you. We are away in California right now. I swear, Emily Prentiss, if you don't call me back, I will bang on your front door until you let me in. Call me!"_

Ugh! Why can't JJ just LEAVE ME ALONE!

"_Ms. Prentiss this is Jeff Nolan from the State Department. It's been brought to my attention that things did not work out with the FBI and that you resigned two weeks ago. We are still very much interested in having you join us. Please give me a call. I understand if you need to take some time before working. Just please get back to me with you decision."_

Crap, I should really give him a call. I'll do that tomorrow. Maybe I should eat something. When was the last time I ate? I have no clue. I really don't feel like getting out of bed. I'm tired. I'll just take a nap and then I'll eat something.

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><p><strong>So much angst! Let me know what you think.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Finally got this done. This was a tough one to get out. I'm guessing on the medical stuff and the address is made up. If it exists it is by pure coincidence.**

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><p>Four days later, JJ walked down the hallway of Emily's condo. She fully intended to live up to her promise, or maybe threat being the better word, and knock on Emily's door until she opened it up.<p>

_Knock Knock Knock _

"Emily, it's JJ. I told you I would come by here if I haven't heard from you. Open this door."

_Knock Knock Knock _

"Open the door, Em!"

_Knock Knock Knock_

"Emily, I'm using my key." JJ finds the key to Emily's front door and opens it. As she walks inside, JJ searched the wall for the light switch. Once the darkness disappears, she looks around. There is no sign of Emily on the first floor. Walking towards the staircase, JJ tries to call out to her friend again, "Em, are you up there?"

Still there is no answer. JJ walks up the stairs and pushes open the door to Emily's bedroom. "Emily?" JJ walks over to the bed and shakes the shoulder of her sleeping friend, "Em?"

"Go away," Emily whispers.

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><p><strong>Emily POV<strong>

"_Open the door, Em!"_

I can hear her knocking on my front door, but I don't have the desire or the energy to move. She has a key. If JJ wants to get in here so bad, then she will just use it.

"_Emily, I'm using my key."_

Knew that would happen. Now she'll come in here and she'll want to talk, but I don't want to be bothered. I just want to be left alone.

"_Em, are you up there?"_

I'd bury my head in the covers or under this pillow to drown out her voice, but I just don't have the energy to do so. I can hear her coming up the stairs and I know that she will be entering my room soon. She comes into my room and shakes my shoulder.

"Go away," I whisper to her. I can feel the bed dip down beside me.

"I am not going anywhere, Em. Come on, I brought a pizza over. Let's go downstairs and watch some TV." She pulls the blanket off of my body and gasps. "Em you've lost some weight." I feel her hand on my cheek. "When was the last time you ate something?"

I pull my head away from her hand and answer, "Dunno…Wednesday."

"Yesterday?"

I could just say yes, but I know that there is no use in me lying, she'll just know that I am now telling the truth. So I just admit, "The day I spoke to Strauss."

"The day…Emily that was three weeks ago. Come on, we need to get food into you."

She pulls on my arm to get me up, but I use the little strength that I have left to pull it back. "No, just leave me alone."

"I am not going to leave you alone, Em. You have to go to the hospital. You are malnourished and probably dehydrated as well."

I grab JJ's hand and squeeze it, "No! No hospital, JJ. Please!" I can feel the tears flowing from my eyes. I can't go back to the hospital. The last time I was there I was sent away from my family. The rational side of me knows that it won't happen this time, but right now that is all that I can think about. If I go to the hospital, they will send me away.

She reaches up and wipes the tears from them. "Okay, Em. I'll make you a deal. We go downstairs and you eat some pizza and we won't go to the hospital. Alright?"

"Thank you," I say to her as I start to calm down. I don't know what it was. Maybe I moved to fast, maybe it was the affects of the little bit of water that I've had these few weeks, or the lack of food, or maybe it was all of these things, but as soon as I stood from my bed, I felt light headed, pain and then the darkness consumed me. The last thing I recall happening was hearing JJ yell my name as I fell down.

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><p><strong>JJ POV<strong>

"EMILY!" I couldn't catch her as she dropped, but I did manage to get my hands around her neck to stop her head from hitting the floor. "Come on Em. Wake Up."

She isn't waking up. I place my fingers to her neck and am relieved when I felt a pulse. It was weak though and I knew that I had to get her to the hospital fast. I pull my cell phone from my pocket and dial 9-1-1. Once the dispatcher answers, I pull forward my best controlled liaison voice, "This is SSA Jennifer Jareau with the FBI. I need an ambulance immediately at the Lincoln Condominiums, apartment 3F. A Forty-one year old female just fainted inside her apartment. She is malnourished and possible dehydrated."

I hung up the phone with the dispatcher and then started running my fingers through Emily's hair. "Hold on, Em," I whispered to her, "Help is on the way."

It took about ten minutes for the ambulance to arrive and the paramedics to join us in Emily's room. She hasn't woken up yet and I am so worried about her right now. They assured me that Emily will be fine and that once she gets some fluids in her system, she will start to wake up. I follow them down to the ambulance and join Emily in the back. I take hold of her hand throughout the entire ride and keep telling her that I am with her and that everything will be alright.

We arrive at the hospital and the nurses there keep me from following Emily into the exam room. They hand me some forms that need to be filled out and point me in the direction of the waiting room. I grasp the bridge of my nose with my fingers and take hold of my phone to call the only other person from the team that I could think of calling.

"Rossi," he answers.

"Dave, I need you to get down to George Washington Memorial," I say to him. "It's Emily."

"What happened?"

"I stopped by her place with some pizza like I told you I was going to do. Rossi, she's so thin. She said the last time she ate was her last day at the BAU."

"Christ, JJ, that was three weeks ago."

"I know. I know. She's had water in that time. There were some empty water bottles by her bed, but I don't know how long it's been since she last had any."

"Have you called anyone else?"

I shook my head, then I realized that he couldn't see the action so I answered, "No, and I don't think I will. They don't care about her, Rossi. You are the only one besides me that has shown any concern for her. When she wakes up, I'll let her decide if she wants them to know, but I will not call them. I have to go. I need to call Will and tell him that I won't b home and I have some forms to fill out. Just…could you please come down here?"

"Of course. I'll be right there and I'll respect your decision to not call the others."

"Thank you Rossi." I hung up the phone and called Will right away to explain to him what has happened with Emily. He wanted to bring Henry and keep me company, but I told him that it was not the best place for Henry to be and that Rossi was on his way. After some exchanges of, 'I love you,' I put my phone away and continued to fill out the forms.

Fifteen minutes later I look up and see Rossi walking towards me. "Any news?" he asks me.

"No, I handed the paperwork in about ten minutes ago and the nurse at the desk said that the doctor will come out and speak to us when the exam is finished." Rossi grabs my hand as he sits down in the chair next to me. I squeeze his hand in thanks. "I found her lying in her bed. I threatened to call an ambulance, but she begged me not to. I told her that if she ate some pizza that I wouldn't. She passed out when she stood from the bed. We just got her back, Rossi. We can't lose her now."

He pulls me into a hug and speaks strongly, "We won't lose her, JJ. She's going to get better and we will help her through this. If I have to take a leave of absence to help her through this, she will get better."

"Emily Prentiss?"

Rossi and I stand up and approach the doctor that was standing near the entrance of the room. "How is she?" I ask the doctor.

"Ms. Prentiss is badly dehydrated and under nourished. The weakness in her body resulted in a sprained ankle when she fell down. I am keeping her here for a few days until her levels all return to normal and she is back to eating solid foods. From the records we have, an Agent Jennifer Jareau is her medical power of attorney."

"Yes, that's me," I answer him.

The doctor nods at me, "Agent Jareau, the symptoms that Ms. Prentiss is showing all point to an extremely bad case of depression. Has there been a change in her life that would bring this about? A relationship break-up, loss of job, death in the family?"

"Yes, but it's a complicated situation."

"I understand. I can arrange for someone from the psych department to examine her."

"That won't be necessary," I interrupt him. "Emily is a former FBI agent and she met with a bureau therapist. I will have him come by tomorrow and speak with her."

"I would prefer if someone from this hospital examined her."

Before I could answer the doctor back, Rossi held up his hand. "The bureau therapist is familiar with Emily's situation and I believe that it is connected to Emily being brought here in this condition. I am sure that Dr. Lewis will be able to provide your hospital with the necessary findings of the exam. Isn't better to have someone familiar with the Emily's history, than bring someone new in."

Finally the doctor relented, "Alright. As long as he meets with her tomorrow."

"When can we see her?" I ask.

The doctor smiled at me. "She should be settled in her room as we speak. Room 309. Agent Jareau, she is very lucky that you found her. One more day and you might have found her in a coma."

I nodded and gave him a small smile saying, "Thank you," before I felt Rossi's hand on my back leading me towards the elevator.

We reach Emily's hospital room and cautiously enter the room. The nurse is in there and she tells us that Emily might be waking up soon. I grab her hand and I can hear Rossi curse and say something in Italian when he takes notice of how thin Emily has become.

Emily starts to stir and I whisper in her ear. "That's it Em. Just open those eyes. I'm here for you."

I let a smile appear on my face when I see her eyes open. "JJ?" she whispers to me.

"Yeah Em, it's me. You had me so scared there for a second. I know you didn't want to come to the hospital but I had to."

"I don't want to leave, JJ. Please don't let them send me away. He's still out there and they are going to want to take me away."

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it. Please let me know.<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**here we go another chapter! Thanks to all of the reviews and alerts **

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><p>Last Chapter:<p>

_I let a smile appear on my face when I see her eyes open. "JJ?" she whispers to me._

"_Yeah Em, it's me. You had me so scared there for a second. I know you didn't want to come to the hospital but I had to."_

"_I don't want to leave, JJ. Please don't let them send me away. He's still out there and they are going to want to take me away."_

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><p>JJ looked up at Rossi with concern. "Who are you talking about, Em?"<p>

Emily's eyes had closed again but she opened them once more as she whispered, "Doyle. He's still out there. Clyde will look to send me away. They will force me into hiding. I can't go, JJ. Please don't let them make me go."

JJ did the only thing she could think of at that time. She brushed the hair from Emily's forehead and promised, "You're not going anywhere, Em. I'll make sure of that."

Emily nodded, "Morgan…I need to see him. He needs to know how grateful I am for him saving me, and I need to thank Pen for the phone call."

Emily kept on rambling on about the members of the team. She didn't even acknowledge if she heard JJ when she asked Rossi, "What do we do?"

"I'll get the doctor and see what he says. Don't let her know the truth…at least not until the doctor gives us the go ahead," Rossi advised.

JJ nodded and turned back to Emily. "JJ, where are they?" Emily just now looked around her room. "Are they mad at me for walking out of the bullpen?"

"They'll be here soon, Em." JJ did her best to not be too specific with her answer. "You just rest. You need it to get stronger." JJ let out a relieved sigh when Emily nodded and closed her eyes, allowing sleep to overtake her once more. The opening of the hospital room door stirred JJ from her thoughts. She gave a small smile to Rossi and the doctor, "She fell back to sleep.

"That's for the best," said the doctor, "the less time she believes in the delusion, the better. Agent Rossi said that she believes that it is about three years ago?"

JJ nods, "Yes. I know I am not your patient, Doctor, but what I am about to tell you needs to be kept confidential. I am only going to tell you this information, because I believe, no I know, that it is directly linked to what is going on with Emily now and I feel that she the things she will be saying will reference the events of which I will tell you. Can you keep this confidential?"

The doctor looked between the two agents, "If what you are going to tell me helps me take better care of Ms. Prentiss, than I can assure you of my discretion."

JJ gave him a relieved smile, "Thank you. Three years ago, Emily was injured during a confrontation with a well-known international arms dealer. She was stabbed in the stomach with a piece of wood. After that, she was sent to Europe to recover. The government faked her death and would not permit her to speak with her family and friends until the man responsible was handled with. It took three years and Emily handled the situation herself. She only came back home a little over a few months ago. It has been hard on the rest of our Unit to accept the deceit that was needed to keep her and all of the people that she cared for safe. Although she did come back to work with us, about three weeks ago she quit when it became clear that it would be detrimental to the success of the Unit for her to stay. Some of her teammates found it hard to trust her and she just couldn't continue working. Myself and Agent Rossi kept trying to speak with her, but…she never answered nor returned out phone calls."

"From what you are telling me, I am more convinced now then I was before that she is dealing with depression," said the doctor.

"What do we do when she wakes up again?" asked Rossi. "Do you believe that she will still think it is three years ago?"

"I believe that as her body gets re-hydrated and gets the nutrition she needs, she will start to become more aware and will remember all that has happened these past few years. I have no concerns about her health, besides the malnourishment and dehydration, so if she still believes it is three years ago, when she wakes up again, I don't see that problem with correcting her. She might get agitated when she realizes that she's lost three years of her memory. If that happens, just have a nurse page me and we'll try to calm her down. If we need to, we'll sedate her to keep her from pulling out her IVs."

"Thank you, Doctor," said JJ.

The doctor made his way out of the room, but then turned back to them as a thought came to him. "Is it to correct to guess that you either haven't called the rest of your colleagues to let them know about Ms. Prentiss, or that you have and they have decided to not come here?"

Rossi nodded, "We have not notified them."

"I see," said the doctor. "I suggest that you do. It has been my experience that a situation like this could mend fences better than time. If nothing else, it might open their eyes to how they have been treating her."

"Thank you. We'll do that," said JJ as she nodded her head agreeing with the affects the news could have on their friends. JJ smiled at the doctor as he left the room. She turned back towards the hospital bed and walked towards Emily. "Do you think this will be the wake-up call that they need, Rossi?"

"I hope so," he answered as he watched JJ sit near their friend and take the brunette's hand in hers.

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><p>Hotch was pulled from his sleep by the ringing of his cell phone. He looked down at the display and grimaced when he saw Rossi's name, "Dave it's two in the morning. You better be calling me with an emergency."<p>

"I am, Aaron. You need to gather Morgan, Reid and Garcia, and get to George Washington Memorial," said Rossi.

"What happened?" Hotch asked.

"Emily was brought in a few hours ago after she collapsed in her house. JJ was with her and called an ambulance."

"Is she alright?" Hotch asked and Rossi smiled at the concern in his voice.

'_The Doc was right,'_ he thought to himself. "She's dehydrated and malnourished. She's in a deep depression Aaron."

"From what?" asked Hotch.

Rossi's eye brows rose up as far as they could. "From what?" He mimicked Hotch's question. "I don't know maybe it's because her closest friends couldn't see passed their hurt feelings to see that their actions were hurting her. Morgan especially. He made her feel unwelcomed so much that she left the bureau. She never reported to that job with the State Department. Apparently she spent the last couple of weeks laying in her bed, drinking only enough water to keep her alive."

"Damn," said Hotch. "Is she conscious?"

"She is," answered Rossi, "but she is sleeping now. When she first woke up, she thought it was right after Doyle's attack. She begged JJ to not let Easter take her away. She was pleading that she didn't want to leave us. She asked for you guys and wanted to apologize for leaving the bullpen and she wanted to thank Morgan for saving her Garcia for the voicemail. The doctor thinks that once she is re-hydrated, she'll be back to normal. It's time to put your hurt feelings aside and get your ass hear to support your friend."

Hotch let out a deep sigh, "I'm on my way. I'll give the others a call."

"She's in room 309."

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><p>Thirty minutes after his call with Hotch, Rossi sat with JJ by Emily's bedside. He had told JJ that Hotch was on his way, but that he wasn't sure about the others. JJ just nodded and continued to rub the back of Emily's hand with her thumb. Her comforting gestures were stalled as the brunette started to stir and wake from her sleep. She looked over at JJ and Rossi and returned the smile that she was receiving from them. "I'm still here."<p>

"Yes you are, Em," answered JJ unsure as to what time frame her friend thought she was in.

"How did you convince him to let me stay?"

JJ looked over at Rossi, unsure how she should answer the question. She knew that the doctor said that it was okay to correct her, but she couldn't stand the thought of taking that smile away. So she just answered, "You're not going anywhere, Em. You're staying home." Before anyone else could speak, the door to the hospital room opened.

"Doyle," Emily whispered, fear was present in her voice.

JJ stood from her seat and quickly calmed her friend down. "It's alright, Em. It's Hotch." She smiled as JJ relaxed into the bed. JJ looked up and was glad to see Morgan, Garcia and Reid entering the room behind their Unit Chief and friend. She looked toward the entering group and warned them, "The last thing she needs is for any of you to be hostile towards her. If you cannot be comforting to her, you can leave now."

Emily grabbed JJ's hand, "Jayje, it's okay. They have a right to be mad with me."

JJ sighed internally since she knew that Emily still believed that it was three years ago and just after Doyle's attack. "Emily-"

"No, JJ. I left the bullpen during the profile. I didn't let anyone know that truth about what was happening." They could see tears pooling in Emily's eyes, threatening to fall. The group that just entered the room stood frozen in their places as they witnessed the exchange between the two women. "I hope that you could one day forgive me and that you might be able to believe when I say that I did it to protect all of you. If Doyle had any knowledge that you knew the truth about me, he would have killed you all just to see me suffer. You are all in danger now with him still out there. There were only two options that would have saved you all. Only if one of us left that warehouse alive would we all be safe. I've failed you all. I'm so, so sorry." Emily wiped the tears from her eyes and looked down at her friends afraid to see the hurt that she was convinced were in her friends' eyes.

"You didn't fail us," said Reid. Emily scoffed at the remark, but Reid spoke again before she could say anything, "Emily, what year is it?"

"I didn't think I would ever hear you asking such a silly question, Reid," she answered. When she saw the serious look on her face she answered him in a tone that a teenager would say the word, 'duh.' "It's 2011 Reid."

Reid approached the bed and the rest of them let him continue. "Emily it's 2014."

"That's not possible. It's 2011. I'm in the hospital recovering from a stab wound that Ian Doyle gave me."

"No, Em," Reid continued. "You are in the hospital because you were dehydrated and haven't eaten much in two weeks. It is 2014 and Doyle is dead. You killed him before you came back to the BAU after you faked your death when Doyle hurt you three years ago, in 2011."

"I don't believe you," said Emily as she shook her head.

"Feel your stomach where you were stabbed." Emily did as he asked and to her surprise the bandage she expected to find there was missing. Without being told she placed her hand over where the clover was branded in her chest. Again, there was no bandage. "Emily, if it was right after Doyle hurt you, there would be bandages at those two spots and you would be in pain."

"It's not 2011," Emily whispered.

"It's not."

"Doyle's dead."

"He is."

"You okay, Em?" JJ asked her.

"I don't know," Emily answered.

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><p><strong>so, how do you like it?<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for all of the reviews and alerts for this story. It means a lot! **

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><p><strong>Emily POV<strong>

I can feel the tears fall from my eyes. They tell me that it's been three years. That Doyle is dead and that there is no more threat to me or to any of them. But, they forget I'm a profiler as well. I can see that there is more to the story than what they are telling me. Morgan looks angry and he can't even raise his eyes to look at me. Garcia has tears in her eyes but she has yet to approach my bed. Reid is treating me like I'm some science experiment on amnesia. Rossi looks at me with the eyes of a concerned father, and I can see the worry present on JJ and Hotch's faces.

I listened to Reid as he tried to make me realize that it was in fact 2014. I followed his lead and touched the places where Doyle stabbed and branded me. I expected there to be raw pain. I expected to feel the bandages with my fingers. But the pain and the bandages were not there. So it started to kick in. It's not 2011. Doyle's dead. I'm safe. The team is safe. It's 2014. I can't remember the last three years of my life. What happens now?

JJ asks me if I'm okay. How can I be? I have no clue as to what's happened. I don't feel like I am in pain, so I know that what Reid said is true and that it wasn't an injury in the field that landed me here, but just dehydration. So why am I now laying on this bed and why is everyone looking at me with such mixed emotions? Why is Morgan unable to even hold eye contact with me for a long time? What is going on?

I look towards the doorway as two men enter the room. I recognize one of them as being the therapist at the BAU, Dr. Jim Lewis. The other looks familiar and I am guessing from the white coat that he is wearing and the stethoscope around his neck that he is a doctor. As they get closer to my bed, I notice that the doctor's badge says that he is a doctor with George Washington Memorial Hospital, further proof that we are not in Boston anymore, and that what they are saying, that it's 2014 is the truth.

"Hi, Emily. How are you feeling?" Dr. Lewis asked me. I am a little shocked by that. Whenever we passed each other in the hallways, we always referred to each other professionally. He usually called me, Agent Prentiss, and I always called him, Dr. Lewis. I've tried to get him to call me Emily several times, but he always joked that he only uses first names in the confines of his office. So what does that mean? Have I been seeing him for therapy? My head is filled with so many questions.

"I'm a bit confused," I admitted to him.

"Well that is to be expected," he replied back and then I watched as he turned to my team and asked them to leave the room.

As JJ removed her hand from mine, I grasped it again, "Stay, please?" I begged her. JJ gave me a soft smile and a nod as she took her seat once more. I looked up at Dr. Lewis and then over at the other doctor that was present. "Can someone tell me what the hell is going on and why I seem to have lost the last three years of my life?"

"Agent Prentiss, I'm Dr. Robinson. Is it alright with you if I call you Emily?" I nod my head at him and he continues. "Alright, Emily. Do you know why you are here?"

"Reid told me that I was brought in because I was dehydrated."

The doctor smiled at me. "That's right. You are also malnourished. My guess would be that you haven't eaten in about two weeks, and that you've had only enough water to keep you alive."

I think over what he just said. Was I held hostage by an Unsub? Is that why I can't remember anything? Maybe they drugged me up with something. I look at JJ and ask, "Was I held by an Unsub? Did someone do this to me?"

I felt my stomach tighten at the sad look on JJ's face. "No, Em, you did this to yourself."

"That's impossible," I say. "I would never intentionally harm myself like that. What could possibly have happened for me to do that?"

Dr. Lewis answers my question. "What is the exact last thing you remember happening before you woke up in this hospital?"

"How is that going to help?" I asked him. "The last thing I remember happened three years ago!"

"Humor me, please," Dr Lewis asks.

I close my eyes and then give him his answer. "I was in Boston, lying on the floor of the warehouse. Doyle had just stabbed me. There were gunshots and Doyle ran off. The next thing I know is Morgan was next to me and begging me to hold on. My eyes close and then when they opened again, I find out that it is three years later."

"That's good," said Dr. Lewis.

"Good?" I yelled at him. "How can that be good? I can't remember three years of my life."

"Emily," JJ tried to get me to calm down.

"Emily, I am confident that your memory will return very soon," said Dr. Robinson. "I know that it is frustrating and that you are confused, but it will all work out. Physically, the only thing that is wrong with you is the dehydration and slight malnourishment. I'm going to keep you here until tomorrow afternoon. As long as you can successfully have some breakfast and lunch, you will be free to leave. I will leave Dr. Lewis to discuss with you further about your memory. If you have any questions, just ask the nurses to page me."

"Thank you," I answer him. As Dr. Robinson turns and leaves the room, I look between JJ and Dr. Lewis and see the looks that they are exchanging. My focus now turns to Dr. Lewis. "You once told me that you reserve calling agents by their first name for when you see them in your office."

"That's correct," he replied.

"So, I've spoken with you before…In a professional matter?"

"Yes." Dr. Lewis pulled the other chair that was in the room closer to the bed and looked at me. "Emily, Dr. Robinson was right when he said that your memory loss is temporary. Your experiencing something similar to what victims experience when they've been in a traumatic situation, or when a person witnesses something traumatic."

"You mean I am I'm in shock?" I ask him.

"In a way…yes. It is very similar. Your brain is holding but events and feelings that have been painful for you. I can assure you that your memories will fully return by the time you leave this hospital. I want to warn you that when they do return, they will most likely be difficult to deal with, but I'll be with you through it all and so will Agent Jareau."

"Can you just tell me what has happened?" I can see the hesitation in their eyes. "Please," I plead with them.

Dr. Lewis looks towards JJ and gives her a nod. I guess it was his way of telling her that it would be alright to tell me. JJ clears her throat and then begins. "I'll give you the Cliffs Notes version and then you can ask me questions if you want. Is that alright with you?" I nod my head yes. "Okay. When you woke up in the hospital after you're surgery, Clyde told you that a plan was constructed to fake your death and send you to Europe to recover. Only Clyde and I were informed of the plan. The others were told that you died on the operating table. It was the only way to keep you safe. You recovered in Paris and worked with Interpol to help with the capture of Doyle. It took nearly three years, but Doyle's location was finally found out and he was killed during the raid. When you arrived back home, you're return had mixed reactions from the team. You did get reinstated on a trial basis, but you resigned when things weren't working out."

I tried to process what was just told to me. "You let him take me away?" I whispered.

"No, Em," JJ shook her head. "I begged you to stay and let us help you, but you were so worried about our safety, you practically threatened Clyde to shoot him if he didn't make the arrangements. You didn't want to have to lie to the team, but you wanted to make sure that they were all safe."

"So that's why they were all looking at me differently."

"Yes," JJ answered. "Do you have any more questions?"

I shook my head, "I think I just need some time to process this. Could you just give me some time alone?"

"Sure, Em. I'll be just outside the room."

They thought I was dead. I lied to them. No wonder they looked at me like that. They probably don't want to have anything to do with me.

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><p><strong>Would love to hear your comments on this story. :)<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**thank you for all of the alerts and reviews. This is a short one, but I PROMISE that the next chapter will be posted tonight.**

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><p>JJ gave one last look to Emily before she left the room and joined her friends out in the hallway. "How is she?" asked Rossi when he saw Dr. Lewis and JJ leave the room.<p>

Dr. Lewis looked at the group and gave them a comforting smile. "I agree with Dr. Robinson's assessment that the memory loss is temporary. Emily correctly surmised that she was one of my patients. With my approval, Agent Jareau filled Emily in on the events surrounding how and why Emily faked her death."

"You told her about Doyle?" asked Morgan.

JJ nodded. "I didn't go into much detail," she said. "I just told her about her having to fake her death and that when she came back, things didn't work out and she resigned. I didn't tell her about the attitude she received when she returned or the way you all treated her." JJ finished her statement with a glare at Morgan.

"Why didn't you see that she was this bad?" Morgan asked Dr. Lewis.

"Agent Morgan…Emily was on her way to being able to deal with all that she had been through. Things changed during her last two weeks of sessions with me. I saw her pulling away and I did my best to hold on to her. But it was all too overwhelming for her to deal with. Are you aware that as a bureau psychiatrist, I can not treat patients once they leave the F.B.I.?" Seeing Morgan shake his head, the doctor continued. "The day before she resigned was our last session. Emily had such a lost look in her eyes. I tried to get her to change her mind, but she said that it was the right decision to make for the team. She believed that the trial period was a waste of time, and that it would only result in her leaving the BAU. I recommended some other doctors to her and she said that she would give them a call. She never answered my calls when I tried to check on her, and she never called anyone from the list I gave her. If you are going to blame anyone, Agent Morgan, you should be blaming yourselves."

Morgan glared at the doctor. Rossi spoke up trying to defuse any further escalation of the tension in the hallway. "We all missed the signs, Morgan. We should have seen it, but our anger with what she did got in the way. That's our friend in that room, and I'm ashamed it took her going this far in her depression for us to realize this. Think real hard if a lifetime of being mad for what she did is more important than the friendship you all have with her. While you are thinking about that, keep this in mind. Her only reason for not asking for our help is that she knew what Doyle was capable of. She knew that he would go after her family. We mean more to her than her own parents. That's why she ran. She did it to protect us and to protect Jack and Henry, and if you can't see that as a selfless act than you should all leave right now."

The group of friends all looked around each other after Rossi finished speaking. There were unspoken conversations between the group as they all processed what was said to them. After five minutes, Reid looked towards Dr. Lewis and asked, "What can we do to help Emily?"

A smile appeared on JJ's face as she saw the others look towards the doctor with the same question in their eyes, even Morgan. _'It's going to all get better now,'_ she thought to herself. Even Rossi had a pleased look on his face from the change in emotions that they were all showing.

With a deep concern in his eyes, Dr. Lewis answered. "Just be there for her. Talk to her. If you regret the way you've treated her, tell her. If you still value her friendship, tell her. If you forgive her for leaving, tell her. If you are mad at her, tell her. If you don't want her to die…tell her. She feels like she is all alone. Agent Jareau, although she might have never said it, Emily is very appreciative for what you did for her and for your support…but…she never wanted to get in the way of your life with your husband and son. So she kept her distance from you. She didn't want to cause you more grief and let you see how everything was really affecting her. I tried to get her to talk with you, but I am sure you know how stubborn Emily can be." JJ let out a small chuckle at that statement and nodded. "The biggest thing you all can do is just be honest with Emily. Be the stubborn minded agents that we all know you are and pull her out of this depression. Now if you do not have any more questions, I'd like to go and speak with Dr. Robinson now."

The team watched as Dr. Lewis walked down the hallway. "So what's it going to be?" asked Rossi. "I'm staying here."

"I haven't turned my back on her yet," said JJ, "and I'm not about to start now."

Hotch, Garcia and Reid responded with nods and agreed that they would not be leaving the hospital. They all turned to Morgan and looked to him for his answer. He had a determined and angry look in his eye that no one could understand. They weren't sure what he was thinking until he spoke, "I swear I will kick her ass if she refuses to get better." The group of friends let out a relieved sigh and chuckled at his comment. Things were looking better, they were going to pull their friend through this.

And when the dust settled…Emily Prentiss will be back to her old self.

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><p><strong>What do you think?<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**thanks for the reviews and alerts. woo hoo I was able to keep my promise and get this out today!  
><strong>

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><p>Emily looked out the window and stared at the blue sky. It all looked so peaceful out there. Her feelings of sadness and despair returned once JJ and Dr. Lewis left the room. When the door to her room closed, the memories all came flooding back to her - the lies, her death, killing Doyle, her return, the team rejecting her, she remembered it all. Now she was just hoping that her doctor returned quickly and that he would release her so that she can leave. She knows that no one will care about her being gone. She just needs to leave now.<p>

Emily's head turned towards the door when she heard it opening. She watched with wide eyes as JJ entered the room. "Hey," said JJ.

Emily saw the rest of the team entering the room behind her and immediately looked down at her hands. "Have you seen Dr. Robinson? I'd like to sign myself out and go home now."

JJ looked at the rest of the team and sighed. They all recognized the signs. It was clear to them that Emily's memories have returned. "Maybe you should stay here for a little while more, Em. Get yourself a little stronger."

"I am fine, JJ," Emily insisted. "I can remember it all now. Didn't Dr. Robinson say that my memory would straighten itself out once I get rehydrated?"

"He also said that he wouldn't release you until you can hold down some solid food," said Reid as he walked closer to the bed.

Emily's face hardened as she said again. "I am fine and I want to go home now. Get me the doctor."

"No," said Hotch.

"No?" Emily questioned. "In case you have forgotten, Agent Hotchner, I am no longer a member of your team, nor am I an agent with the FBI. You have no authority over me."

"You are right, Emily. I have no authority over you."

"But I do," said JJ.

"What are you talking about?" asked Emily.

"I have your medical power of attorney, remember?" JJ answered.

"I am conscious, JJ. I can make my own decisions."

"The law says differently. Dr. Robinson has been nice enough to diagnose this as just exhaustion. It can easily be changed to a suicide attempt that I am sure Dr. Lewis will have no trouble verifying. That would put me in charge of your medical care until Dr. Lewis deems you mentally stable to make the correct medical decisions for yourself."

"You can't be serious," argued Emily.

"Try me, Em." JJ gave Emily her best press, _'Don't mess with me'_ face. "I am worried about you, we all are." This statement earned a small laugh from Emily. "It **is** true, Emily. We are not going to let you hurt yourself anymore. I'll make you a deal. You stay in here until Dr. Robinson and Dr. Lewis both clear you to leave and this stays officially just a case of exhaustion." Emily looked at JJ with a slight gleam of hope in her eyes. "But, do not try me, Em. You try and leave hear even a minute earlier, and I'll have your ass committed so fast. Are we clear?" Emily looked out the window. It was clear that she was processing what JJ had just told her. "Emily? Are we clear?"

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?" She looked around at the others in the room. "Why are you even here?"

"Because we care about you," said Garcia.

"Right. You care about me. You care about me so much that you made my life a living hell when I returned. You went out of your way to ignore me," she looked at Morgan, "to make sure that I knew that my opinion meant absolutely nothing to any of you."

"And that was mostly my doing," admitted Morgan. "I was so convinced that you couldn't trust us that I failed to look at the situation from your side. I failed to realize that you left to protect us and not to run away. For that I am so sorry and I hope that one day you can forgive me for the pain I put you through."

"We all do," agreed Hotch. "I am ashamed that it took you nearly dying, for real, for us all to understand that. We are the best group of profilers in the country and none of us realized what was happening with you. You faked your death to protect us all. You did it to keep Doyle away from hurting us and our families."

Tears were flowing from Emily's eyes, "I couldn't let him hurt Jack and Henry. They are so young. They shouldn't pay for my mistakes, now should any of you. I looked at you all as family, more important than my own parents."

"And now?" Garcia asked.

Another laugh escaped from Emily. "That's the funny thing. My feelings haven't changed. No matter what was said or done, I still think the world of all of you. You are still my family." Emily looked over at Rossi, "So what happens now?"

Rossi sat down on the bed and took her hand in his. "Now, we get you through this, kiddo. One step at a time. First step is to get you physically healthy. Then, we take it from there."

Dr. Lewis then walked back into the room, "How is everything in here?"

"I remember it all, Doc," said Emily using the affectionate nickname she did during her therapy sessions.

"I see, and how are you feeling?"

"Like a fool, for letting myself get so carried away. Guess I should have called one of those guys, huh?" Emily answered.

"A hiccup on the road to recovery," said Dr. Lewis. "A minor setback that everyone has. The important thing is that you are going to get the help that you need now. They care about you, even if they didn't show you when you returned. I thought Agent Morgan was getting ready to knock me out before."

Emily looked at Morgan with wide eyes. "I might have blamed Dr. Lewis for not catching on to how bad you were. Then he ripped me a new one and made us all realize how much of an ass we have been to you."

"I got a lot of help from Agent Jareau," said Dr. Lewis. "I never want to be on the receiving end of one of those glares."

The whole group laughed, including Emily. The smile didn't quite reach her eyes, but it was getting close. "It's not a pleasant experience," Emily admitted.

The doctor gave her a quick nod. "I'll leave you all alone now. I will be back to see you tomorrow, Emily. You can call me anytime."

Emily nodded, "Thank you."

He left the room and Garcia quickly approached the bed. "Em? Can you ever forgive us?"

Emily looked at her. "No." Tears came Garcia's eyes and she looked towards the floor. Emily gave a comforting smile and continued. "Let's just call us even. I faked my death and lied to you all about my true past and you all continued on after I returned as if I was really dead. I forgive you, you forgive me. We're even. Trust has to be earned again, but I don't think it will take long to do so."

"Oh, Em," said Garcia as she rushed the bed and pulled her friend into a tight hug. Pulling away from the hug, Garcia started smacking her arm. "Emily Prentiss, don't you ever do something stupid like that again. You ever pull a stunt like that again and I will find you and kill you myself. Do you hear me?"

Emily couldn't tell whether Garcia was talking about faking her death, or her lack of ability to care for herself. Either way, she didn't care. She pulled Garcia back into a tight hug, "Believe me, PG. I'm done with the stupid moves."

"You better be."

"It will all be okay now," said Rossi.

"Princess you are going to get so tired of seeing me," said Morgan.

Emily smiled at the familiar nickname. "Typical Morgan, so sure of himself."

Morgan placed his hand over his heart and faked like her comment hurt him. The group all laughed and joked some more. Outside her hospital room a man peered in through the window on the door and smiled as he spoke to his superior on his cell phone. "I can confirm that things are looking in your favor. I will know more tomorrow."

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><p><strong>uh oh Who is this man? and what is he talking about? What do you think?<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks for all of your reviews and alerts!**

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><p>"How did he die, Emily?" asked Reid.<p>

"Who?" she questioned, though she was sure she already knew the answer.

"Doyle," answered Reid. "How did you kill him?"

Emily took a deep breath and looked away from everyone. "When I was released from the hospital, JJ met me in Paris. She gave me false IDs and some cash to support myself. After a few months, I was back to full health. The hardest part for me was not recovering from my injuries. It was being away from all of you. Every night I was woken up from nightmares. I had to watch Doyle torture and kill each of you while I stood there unable to help." Emily looked up at them. "I had that dream every night. The face of his victim changed. It wasn't until I saw Henry and Jack as his victim that I decided that I needed to find Doyle and end it all. I contacted my old team mate Clyde Easter. We worked together with Interpol to both track down Declan and to hunt down Doyle. As I told you at JJ's barbecue, I made sure that Declan was safe with the family that I set him up with. When my fears for his safety were handled, we started to concentrate on finding Doyle. We searched all over Europe for him and his followers. It took over two years, but we finally found him. We raided his warehouse and killed all of his men and I stood in front of him, aimed my gun and fired the shot that ended his threat over me." Emily reached up and wiped the tears that she had just realized were falling from her eyes. Once she felt the control come back, she continued, "As we were going through his papers…We…We found that he had located where Declan was."

"You said that he's okay," said JJ as she sat on the bed beside Emily.

Emily looked to her friend and smiled. "He is okay. Agents were sent to verify their safety. When we got the word that he was safe, I started to make my plans to come back home. I spent a month with my mom in Italy. I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay away much longer than that. I came back here and while you were all out on a case, I met with Strauss. You know the rest."

"What happened the last few weeks?" asked Hotch.

Emily's hands started to twist as she picked at her nails. "I didn't want this to happen. I don't know why I let it get this far. I was just so sad and tired. I just had no energy to get out of bed." She looked up at JJ and Rossi. "I heard the voicemails, but I just didn't want to call you back. I kept thinking that it was a stupid decision to come back here. I was convinced that you all wanted nothing to do with me."

"And we did nothing to disprove that," admitted Garcia. "But that, my FBI Wonder Women, is water under the bridge. We are going to nurse your little but back to health and then you can come back and help us gain some more power on Team Estrogen in the BAU."

The group all let out a small laugh at the exuberant perkiness of the analyst. The laughter died down quickly once they all saw the frown appear on Emily's face. "What's wrong?" asked Morgan.

"I won't be back," she said. "The agreement was a review in six months or if one of you or I had a problem and addressed it beforehand. I went to Strauss and resigned."

The group all looked at Hotch when he stepped closer to the bed. "You might have resigned, but there is still a spot for a profiler on the team. You returning would be doing me a huge favor." Seeing Emily's wide, questioning eyes, he continued, "Strauss has been on my case since you left to convince you to come back. Apparently she believes that it was a mistake that you gave up and left. Just say the word and we'll get the paperwork started."

"I don't know what to say," Emily admitted as she stared at the group with an awestruck look on her face.

"Just say that you'll take the help we give you and that you will come back to your family," said Rossi.

"I don't think I have any other choice to make but to say yes."

"Damn right," exclaimed Garcia.

A knock was heard on the door and the group turned towards there visitor. "It's a full house in here," said Dr. Robinson. He smiles at Emily, "Dr. Lewis informed me that you've regained your memory."

Emily nods, "That's correct."

"Excellent." He frowns at her, "Now that you are on the mend, we can talk about your recovery. I'm keeping you here for a few more days." He sees Emily about to object to it and holds up his hand to stop her. "I don't know if you are aware of it, but you came dangerously close to causing severe damage to yourself. If Agent Jareau didn't find you when she did you get have been in a coma right now, or worse. Your physical strength is going to be very low now and we need to get your body used to eating solid foods again. So, tomorrow we try some food and some walking. Once you can hold down some food and walk the hallway outside your door from one end to the other, we will talk about releasing you and you can strengthen your muscles up with physical therapy. How does that sound?"

"Walk the hallway form one end to the other?" Emily questioned. "That will take forever to be able to do with this stupid sprained ankle." Emily pointed to her wrapped up foot.

"I didn't say you had to do it without any help," Dr. Robinson smiled. "Your choice, crutches or someone to lean on. I'm more concerned with being able to do it without resting."

"We'll all help you out, Em," said Morgan. "I told you. You will be getting sick of me."

"Then it is settled," said the doctor. "My shift is over, but the nurses are able to contact me if there are any problems, and I will see you in the morning."

"Thank you," said Emily.

The doctor nodded and then looked around the room at the agents. "Visiting hours are almost over. I've cleared it for two of you to be allowed to stay. Unfortunately the rest of you will have to leave."

They all thanked the doctor and said their goodbyes as he left the room. Emily turned to the group and said, "You guys don't have to stay. I'm sure that you want to get back to Jack and Henry." She looked at Hotch and JJ when she said their son's name.

"Em…"

"She's right," Rossi interrupted JJ's objection. "You guys should go home and be with your kids. Two of us will stay." He motioned to Reid, Morgan and Garcia.

Emily pouted as she realized that she would not be left alone, but her eyes were shining with thankfulness for the same reason. "I'm sure you all have better things to do then sit with me here."

"Maybe, but families make sacrifices, right?" said Hotch. "I think it'll ease our guilt if you let us stay with you." He looks around at the team. Why don't we take shifts – two at a time? This way you don't feel crowded and the rest of us can get some rest and take care of some work. As of tomorrow, I am taking us all off rotation for the next few days. Once you are out of the hospital, if we go out of town, one of us will stay behind or Garcia will just take care of you."

"I know I can't win," said Emily.

"Then it is settled," said Garcia. "Rossi and Reid will stay with you tonight and me and my Chocolate Adonnis will be her tomorrow. I get to pester you to eat and he can be your drill sergeant and help you walk."

"I take it back," Emily joked half horrified. I'll take care of myself." She finished her statement laughing and received a playful slap from Garcia. "Hey, sick women here!" she yelled as she rubbed her shoulder

"Calm down you big baby I barely touched you, and it is you foot that is injured and not the shoulder." Emily answered that statement by sticking her tongue out at her friend. "I'll see you tomorrow, Em."

"I'm looking forward to it," Emily answered honestly as she was hugged by Garcia and then Morgan. JJ and Hotch followed after them and soon it was just Rossi, Reid and Emily in the room.

Ten minutes later the trio of friends was joking around, re-telling stories about things that happened before Doyle re-entered Emily's life. None of them noticed the man in the doctor's coat standing outside her room.

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><p>"<em>Are you positive that she is getting better?" the man on the other side of the conversation asked.<em>

"I am looking into her hospital room as we speak. She was admitted with exhaustion, but she should be released in a few days."

"_That's perfect. We should be in the US tomorrow. We'll come straight to the hospital from the airport."_

"Do you think she'll agree?"

"_I am sure she will. This is something she has dreamed about. I will call you tomorrow when we land in the US."_

The conversation ended there and the man disguised in a doctor's coat quickly walked away from Emily's room.

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><p><strong>Please let me know what you think.<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks for all of the reviews and alerts. You guys really bring smiles to my my face. I tried to get this out as soon as I can. It was really interesting to hear what your thoughts were about who the mystery person were. They are all revealed in this chapter.**

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><p>"<em>We've just landed," <em>said the mysterious caller. _"How is she?"_

"Same as last night," said the man in the doctor's coat. "I told you she's fine."

"_You don't get it. Emily Prentiss is not fine if she is in the hospital because she neglected her health to the point of almost dying."_

"She's on the mend, okay. Her friends with the FBI have made sure that she is not left alone since she's been here. Did you take care of everything?"

"_I told you it was all set. We'll be there in forty-five minutes."_

The man in the doctor's coat took one last look into Emily's room and a comforting smile appeared on his face. 'Things will get better, Emily,' he thought to himself as he turned and walked down the hall.

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><p>Inside her room, Emily smiled at the new set of visitors. Thirty minutes ago, Morgan and Garcia arrived to relieve Rossi and Reid. "I figured we should get you back to eating slowly," said Garcia. "Maybe start with your favorite things." She pulled out a chocolate bar and held it out to Emily.<p>

"Oh, Pen I love you," she joked, taking the candy.

"That's just the chocolate talking," teased Morgan. "So, Princess, how bad do you want out of here?"

Emily's eyebrows rose as she answered it with a question of her own. "Do I really need to answer that question?"

Morgan held up his hands and chuckled, "Alright, I hear you. What do you say we take a walk from your bed to the doorway and back once you finish that chocolate?"

"That's it?" said Emily. "No, Dr. Robinson said I need to walk the hallway before I can leave."

"Baby steps, Prentiss. First we make sure your body can handle that chocolate bar and the walk to the doorway and back, and then…"

"I can handle a chocolate bar, Morgan," said Emily. "It's just a chocolate bar."

"And then you get some lunch in you, and if that stays down, we go in the hallway a little."

"Morgan," she growled. Emily was getting frustrated with Morgan's insistence to take things slow.

Garcia took hold of Emily's hand. "Em, we all can tell that as you get re-hydrated, you are coming back to that snarky, stubborn wonder woman we all know and love. But, you can't push your recovery."

"I hate hospitals," Emily groaned.

"Gym 101, Emily," said Morgan causing the brunette to look at him in confusion. "You listen to your body and respect its limits or you'll get yourself into physical trouble. In your case, it will add more days on to your stay here." Emily crossed her arms and pouted at her friend. "Look, I'm willing to let you set your own pace. We can go as far as you want." She smiled at him. "But Garcia will trail behind us with a wheel chair. When you feel the need to stop, you sit, and we wait a half hour to start again. Deal?"

Emily nods her head. "Thank you."

"Anytime," he answers with a wink.

"So…baby steps," reminds Garcia as she points to the empty chocolate bar wrapper in Emily's hands.

A cautious sigh was followed by a shaky, "Baby steps." Emily swung her legs over the edge of the bed and eased herself into a standing position. She was careful to not put too much weight onto her sprained ankle.

"Crutches? Or do you want to lean on me?" asked Morgan.

"And hurt your feelings by not letting you support me? I wouldn't dream of it."

The trio laughed and Garcia smiled as the playful banter of her two friends that she missed so much came back to life. It took longer than she would have liked, but Emily's trip to the doorway and back was successful. Smiling at her achievement, Emily laid back down in her bed. "I didn't think I would get tired from that," she admitted.

"You're body is healing, honey," said Garcia.

"This sucks."

Morgan chuckled at his friend before he walked towards the door and told the two women that he was going to see about getting Emily her lunch. It wasn't long before Emily's lunch was brought to her and to Morgan and Garcia's surprise the nurse Morgan and charmed earlier had lunch delivered for them as well.

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><p>Dr. Robinson waited at the elevator doors for a man and his traveling companion. He let out a small smile when he saw the exit the elevator car. "Agents Morgan and Garcia are in the room with her. She is recovering quite well, and is about to have some lunch."<p>

The man looked over at his friend. "Thank you for keeping an eye on her." He looked towards his traveling companion. "Are you ready to go and see her?"

He received a nod in answer followed by, "Do you think she'll be happy to see me?"

"You do not have to doubt that. She will be ecstatic. Now let's go follow the doctor to Emily's room, okay?" The man looked at Dr. Robinson and with a smile said, "Lead the way."

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><p>The three friends were enjoying turkey and cheese sandwiches for lunch that Morgan was to acquire from the nurses. "These are halfway decent," said Emily.<p>

"I think you are just hungry," joked Garcia. "It's hospital food, Em."

Emily sent her a playful glare, "All I meant was that it's pretty hard to screw up a turkey and cheese sandwich."

"Sure you did," teased Morgan.

Emily smiled brightly. She was so happy to have the teasing relationship with her friends returning. Unfortunately, every time she thought about that, the feelings of guilt and shame for what she made them so through surfaced in her mind. She knew that it would take some time, but things will turn back to normal.

Finishing her sandwich, she placed the wrapper on the table and pushed it away. She started to swing her legs to the side of the bed, but was stopped by Morgan. "What do you think you are doing?"

"I had my lunch, Morgan. I want to walk."

"Not right now," he answered her.

"You said we go at my pace. I want to start now." Emily crossed her arms and glared at him. Any other type of situation, it would be easy to tease Emily for sounding like a spoiled brat, but not today. They knew that it was just Emily being restless and wanting to push herself to get better.

"And you will, Princess," said Morgan, "but first you have to let that sandwich settle in your stomach before you start to move."

"I'm not going swimming, Morgan. I'm just walking in a hallway."

"Humor me and wait ten minutes."

Emily wouldn't admit it if she was called on it, but she knew that he was right. Instead she just let out a sigh and said, "Fine," as she brought her legs back on top of the bed.

"So, Em I was thinking," started Garcia.

Emily raised an eyebrow to Morgan, "Should I be worried?" Morgan just shrugged in return and smiled.

"As I was saying," Garcia continued. "Your first night out of here, me and JJ will come by your place and watch some cheesy romantic comedies and eat all of our favorite junk foods."

A big smile appeared on Emily's face as she remembered the girls' nights they used to share. "That sounds good."

The laughed and talked more about what they would all be doing when she was released until Dr. Robinson appeared at her door with the unknown man. The man stepped into the room and said in his dry humor, "Only Emily Prentiss would be stubborn enough to land herself back into the hospital after everything she's been through."

Emily, Garcia and Morgan looked at her visitor, confused as to how he learned of her admittance into the hospital. Emily spoke up, "How did you know I was here?"

"Dr. Robinson here is a friend of mine," he answered with a smile.

"Why does that not surprise me? What do you want, Clyde?"

"I wanted to check that you were on the mend. I've also brought you another visitor, someone who is very anxious to see you again."

Before Emily could ask him who the visitor is, she saw him enter the doorway. Her eyes lit up with unshed tears as she said, "Declan!"

The young boy smile was genuine and wide. "Hey Emily."

"Don't just stand there like a shy boy," said Clyde. "You've been bugging me about this moment for the last 24 hours. Go give her that hug you've planning."

Declan smiled at Clyde before he ran past the older man and ran into Emily's waiting arms. "It's so nice to see you again," said Emily. "I didn't think I would ever get the chance."

"Agent Easter came and told me that he's dead. Is it really over?"

Emily ran her fingers through Declan's hair. "It's over honey. You don't have to run anymore." Declan looked down at his feet. Emily couldn't tell what was wrong. She thought that he would have been happy with it all. "What's wrong?"

Declan looked up at Emily and bit his lower lip before asking. "The agents that I was living with were just there to keep me safe. I don't need their protection anymore…so…what's going to happen to me now."

Emily looked at the boy with a shocked expression. She never thought about this. Apparently Clyde had because he said, "Everything is all set."

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><p><strong>So were you right in who you thought they were? Let me know what you think.<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Your reviews and alerts mean so much! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm horrible with guessing what the age of some kids are. I am guessing that that Declan is about 4 or 5 when we see him in "Lauren". So adding on that it takes Emily three years to get back since this story takes place in 2014, I'm putting Declan at about 11 years old. Also, I don't know if my medical and legal facts are correct, but that's the beauty of an AU story - you can make facts to work for you. :)**

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><p>"What do you mean, 'Everything is all set.'?" Emily asked Clyde.<p>

He handed her an envelope and answered, "It's all explained in there."

Emily opened the envelope and removed the papers from it. She looked at the first document and read the title, "The Last will and Testament of Ian Doyle." Emily looked at Declan and then at Clyde. "I was there when he did this. He named Lauren Reynolds Declan's guardian. That can't happen since she is dead and was never a real person."

"Look at the next document," he answered.

Emily scanned the page and her eyes widened. "What does it say?" asked Morgan.

Emily, still in shock, just passed the page to Garcia who read it. "I hereby certify that Lauren Reynolds was not killed in an accident in June of 2005. Lauren Reynolds was the identity used by and undercover agent for Interpol, named Emily Prentiss. Agent Prentiss is still alive today and is currently employed as an agent for the Federal Bureau of Investigation of the United States of America. During her time as Ms. Reynolds, Agent Prentiss served as a mother figure to Declan Doyle. A close bond was formed between them. It is our belief that in the best interest of the boy, Agent Prentiss should be allowed to adopt him and that the wishes of his father, Ian Doyle, be granted to allow Lauren Reynolds, pseudonym for Emily Prentiss, to gain full custody." Garcia looked up at Emily with smiling eyes, "It's signed by the director of Interpol. Oh Em, this is great."

Clyde spoke up again, "There are two more letters similar to that one." Emily looked at the next two pages and saw that Clyde was right. There was a letter from each of the directors of both the CIA and FBI. "And the last document you will see is the court order granting the change in the will."

Emily once again looked from Declan to Clyde. She had a huge smile on her face and tears in her eyes. "I don't know what to say. Thank you just doesn't seem to cut it."

Declan shifted from one foot to the other, "So you'll do it? You'll be my mom?"

"Of course!" Emily held her hand out for him to take. She pulled him so that he sat on the bed next to her. "Honey the only thing I ever regretted from the investigation of your dad, was having to leave you behind in the end. You filled my heart with joy every day that I got to see you, from the moment that we were playing tag in your dad's living room. Did you know that I tried to get your dad to stop what he was doing?" Declan shook his head no. "I did…He asked me to live with you guys permanently and for me to adopt you because he wanted to make sure that if anything happened to him, he knew that you would be taken care of by being with me. I told him that I couldn't do that, but agreed when he asked me if he can place me in his will as your guardian. We had the papers drawn up the next day. I never, ever stopped worrying about you or loving you."

"Then it's settled," said Clyde. "I am really happy for you Emily."

"Thank you…for everything," she told him.

"My pleasure. You'll receive some paperwork today and all you will have to do is sign them and Declan is yours."

"That fast," said Emily.

Clyde shrugged and just gave the vague answer, "I know a lawyer and have some connections in high places." Emily smiled at her former colleague. "I'm going to head out now. Give you two the chance to catch up."

Declan jumped off the bed and quickly gave Clyde a hug. "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure. You take good care of her, alright?"

"Promise."

Emily smile as Clyde left the room before switching her smiling gaze to Declan, her son. She absolutely loved the idea of being able to call him that. There were so many nights she spent wondering if he was okay, if he was happy or even if he remembered her. "Declan, honey, I want to introduce you to two of my friends." Morgan and Garcia stepped closer to the bed as Emily introduced them. "This is Penelope Garcia and Derek Morgan. Guys this is Declan." The trio exchanged greetings. "They work with me at the FBI. Penelope is our technical analyst. She gets to play with computers and find out things for us on the internet. And Derek is a profiler like me."

Some small talk continued until Declan looked at Emily with a concerned gaze, "Why are you in the hospital? Agent Easter would only tell me that he weren't feeling good."

Emily took in a deep breath. She was hoping to never have to explain this to him, but she had promised him a long time ago that she would never lie to him and she was not about to break that promise. "I was very sad for a while and didn't really take care of myself so I got sick."

"You're going to get better though, right?" Declan's big eyes had a pleading look in them.

"Of course I am, especially now that I've got you."

"How long do you have to stay here?"

"I'd leave now if the doctor's would allow it, but they say I have to wait until tomorrow to leave."

"If you are strong enough to walk," reminded Morgan.

Emily sent him a stubborn glare that only earned a chuckle from her friends. "I will leave here tomorrow."

"Damn stubborn woman," muttered Morgan under his breath. Unfortunately for him, both women heard his comment and he received a slap for each of them on his shoulders. Taking a step back and throwing his hands up in surrender, he said with a fake hurt in his voice, "Hey, that hurt." Both women just looked at each other and smirked before they started to laugh. Morgan and Declan quickly joined in with their own laughs.

Emily looked up at Morgan, "I'm ready to start."

He nodded, "You got it." Morgan that looked at Declan, "Want to help me support your mom as she walks?" The delight in both Emily and Declan's eyes and the smiles at their faces when Morgan referred to her as Declan's Mom did not go unnoticed by Garcia and Morgan.

"You bet," Declan answered.

Emily tried to nonchalantly wipe the tears of joy from her eyes as she slowly moved into a sitting position on the bed. With her friends help, she was able to travel half of the hallway before she needed to rest again.

As they got back into Emily's room, they found that it was not as empty as when they left. The rest of the team were all gathered waiting for her. Emily smiled at them, "Changing of the guards, already?" she joked to JJ and Hotch before looking towards Rossi and Reid, "Shouldn't you two be resting?"

Before they could answer, Declan finally looked at the other people in the room, "Agent Hotchner, you were right." Declan left Emily's side and walked up to Hotch and gave him a hug. "Thank you."

Hotch looked over at Emily's surprised face before he crouched down to be at eye-level with the boy. "It was my pleasure."

"What's going on?" asked Emily. "You know each other?" She was thoroughly confused now.

"We do," said Hotch as he placed his hand on Declan's shoulder. "I worked with Clyde to track him down and met them in France before our last case."

"Why does that not surprise me," said Emily. "So you are the lawyer friend that Clyde spoke of." Hotch only answered with a slight smirk and a nod. Emily slowly stood from her wheel chair and walked up to him. "Thank you."

"You are welcome," Hotch answered.

"What am I missing," Rossi asked JJ who only answered by shrugging her shoulders.

Emily heard her friend's question and asked Hotch, "You didn't tell them?"

"Not my news to share," he said with a kind smile on his face.

Emily nodded and with Hotch's hand supporting her, she laid down on her bed. She held her hand out to Declan silently calling him over. Once his hand was grasped in hers, Emily spoke, "This little handsome guy here is Declan." Emily looked up at her friends and returned the smile she was receiving from all of them when they made the connection. "Declan, these are my friends and they work at the FBI also." She introduced him to JJ, Rossi and Reid.

"It is very nice to meet you," said JJ as she walked up to the boy and gave him a hug.

"Agent Easter told me about all of you. You helped out my mom when my dad had her." He looked at JJ, "And you helped her when she was getting better in France."

Emily's heart soared when Declan referred to her as his mother. She never thought that she could ever be that happy. She was almost a little too distracted to recognize the confused faces of Rossi, JJ and Reid.

"Your mother?" asked Reid.

"I'm adopting Declan," said Emily. "I'm still trying to make sense of everything, but the end result is that I get to have this guy in my life from now on."

"That's great, Em," said JJ.

"And now to make it all official, said Hotch as he pulled paperwork from a briefcase that Emily hadn't noticed before. He handed it to her. "You just have to sign it in a few places and then I will take it right away to the court house. Declan and I already took care of his end."

Emily eagerly turned to the first page. She gasped when she read what Declan's new name would be. She looked at the boy, "You want to take me last name?"

He nodded, "I always thought you as more of a parent then him. I don't want his last name anymore."

"Then I would be more than happy to give you what you want." Emily signed her name and placed her initials where they were required. She placed the papers in their original order and looked at Hotch. "So that's it?"

"That's it," he verified. "You are officially…legally Declan's mother. Congratulations." The rest of the group mirrored Hotch's best wishes, but Emily really didn't hear them. She was too preoccupied hugging her son…her son…Declan Prentiss.

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><p><strong>I'd like to know what you think.<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Here's the last chapter for this story. Thank you to everyone who alerted, favorited and reviewed this story!**

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><p>One month later…<p>

Emily found herself sitting in her therapist's office. Hotch had told her that a stipulation to her return was that she see someone to talk to about her feelings. In fact, he ordered the whole team to speak with someone, himself included. He wanted to make sure that they all worked through whatever issues were still present before Emily returned to work.

"So, Emily, this is our last required session. How are you feeling?" asked her therapist.

"Anxious. Excited to return to work. I spoke to JJ this morning. She told me that we would most likely be going on a case today. Is it sad that I am actually excited to go back in the field? I mean…people have to die for us to be called in to help – a lot of people. How sad is it that I am rejoicing when there are people losing their lives and their families are grieving?"

"Would they have been taking the case if you weren't returning today? Would those people still be hurt and their families still grieving?"

"Yes," Emily answered after she let the therapist's words sink in.

"You've told me that you find what you do rewarding because you are able to give those families some closure and to stop others from getting hurt and even more families from grieving. Well then, don't consider it as sad for wanting to get out there." Emily nodded. "How does Declan feel about you having to leave him for work?"

"He has mixed feelings. He's worried that I will be hurt or that I won't come home. Then he tells me that he is so proud of what I do and that I help to stop the bad guys like his dad." Emily's face lit up with a smile as she remembered the conversations she had with Declan about her returning to work.

"Emily, Declan being concerned for your safety is normal. Any child would be worried about their parent being safe at work. You mentioned last week that he will be staying with your co-workers husband and son when you go away on cases."

Emily nodded again. "Yeah, JJ has been so great helping me out. She has been watching him when I've come here for my sessions and Will looked after him this past week when I had to go in for my re-certifications. Declan thinks of them as his aunt and uncle and Henry as a cousin. In fact, he's taking to calling everyone on the team aunt or uncle. I am amazed at how quickly he's warmed up to all of them."

"That's good," said the doctor. "It's great that he is aware of the support system that is available to him. Now, you mentioned before you were feeling anxious." Emily looked down at her lap as she took a deep breath and nodded. "What's making you anxious?"

"I…I guess it's the idea of actually going back to work," she admitted.

"You've been so excited about it, and this is what we've been preparing for."

"I know. I am excited. I can't wait to start working again."

"So what is the problem, then?" asked the doctor.

Emily took her time to answer, taking a deep breath as she prepared. "These past weeks have been great. The interaction with everyone has been amazing. Almost as if the whole situation with Doyle never happened."

"But…" he persisted.

"But…I guess I'm just expecting this all to be an amazing dream and that I am going to wake up and it will all be back to the way it was. That they'll still be mad with me, and I never got to adopt Declan."

"Unfortunately I have no magic cure for that, Emily. I can keep telling you that everything is better and that you really do have custody of Declan, you can keep telling yourself that and everyone else can keep assuring you, but the only way you will believe it is to actually walk through those door. With some time, the anxiety you feel will lessen. Don't be afraid to admit it when the feelings are strong. Don't hold it in and everything will work out. I know that you are not one to share your feelings, but it will help. Remember just like your friends, you are a profiler. You can all tell when each other is lying are there is something wrong. Take comfort in that thought. If they tell you that they are not angry with you and that they are happy to see you. You will see through their body language that they are telling the truth." He looked at his watch. "Alright that's it. We are finished here." He signed the piece of paper that was in front of him and handed it to Emily. "Just hand that in to Agent Hotchner and he will give you your badge and gun. It will all work out, Emily. Even though our mandatory sessions are over, we can continue them if you want. If not, my door is always open to you. You can call me if you are away on a case, or just walk in if I am not with someone else."

"Thank you, Doc. I really appreciate that," said Emily as she stood up and held her hand out for him to shake. "I'd like to see how everything goes. Maybe, keep you on standby?"

"Of course," he answered as they shook hands.

Emememem

While Emily was with Dr. Lewis, the rest of the group was all standing around in the bullpen. "When does her appointment finish?" asked Garcia.

JJ looked at her watch, "It should be finishing in about five minutes." Her phone rang as she finished the sentence and JJ walked away from the group. "Agent Jareau."

"Do you think she will be cleared?" Reid asked.

"I don't have any doubt about that," answered Rossi. "She's back to her normal weight and passed all of her re-qualifying exams. She seems happy and everything with Declan is going well. I think it is all starting to return to normal."

"I agree," Morgan said with a smile. "I can't wait her to get back to work so that we can team up at teasing Reid."

"Hey!" Reid exclaimed.

"You leave my Junior G-Man alone," Garcia reprimanded. They all started laughing as Garcia slapped Morgan's shoulder and he held up his hands in surrender.

A smiling Emily walked into the bullpen, enjoying the teasing session that was taking place. "How did it go?" asked Hotch, earning everyone to stop and smile at the brunette that was standing before them.

Emily held up the piece of paper that Dr. Lewis handed her. "All clear. Effective immediately, I'm back!"

"Yes! The whole family is back together," Garcia pleasingly yelled.

"And just in time." They all turned to see JJ rejoining them. "Hey, Em," she greeted her friend. The pair exchanged smiles before JJ continued. "We've got a case. Good news is that it's local."

"And the bad news?" asked Morgan.

"Four dead in two weeks. The victims are all white males and DC lobbyists."

"Politicians…a media nightmare," said Hotch with a grimace on his face.

"You don't have to tell me that," JJ replied.

"I hate politics," said Emily. She had a smile on her face. Dr. Lewis was right. Just getting back to work is what she needs to get back to her old self. Her friends welcomed her back to the team with opened arms and the first case back is local so she'll still be able to go home to Declan tonight. Her return to her old life is almost complete. Sure it is going to be tough, but with the support of her friends and Declan, she'll make it just fine.

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><p><strong>Thanks again! New story will be posted soon. If you've read my story, "Finally Together", this will be the prequel for that story.<br>**


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